NEW PAGES INCL. Guest Cow & Agony Cow & The Divine Secrets

A lighthearted blog between friends about their daily/weekly lives, misadventures, hi jinx, tall tales, mischief making and finding salvation through an impressive quantity of Grey Goose Voddies, Bollies & good stiff cocktails darhlinks..!

Monday, June 30, 2014


I know I have abandoned this blog like a crack whore would abandon a baby on a church doorstep but despite allegations that it is because of my Stalkertrolls, the truth is that I have moved on to bigger and better things that are using up all the hours of my day and then some. I didn't have the time nor the inclination to play stupid games before and I most certainly don't now. To be honest, a lot of things have made me go 'Wait... WHAT??', especially the posting of negative things about themselves and blaming me for them (!) and I suppose I was afraid that trying to defend myself against that level of craziness would make me crazy too.
While I'm on that particular subject I would like to thank everyone who has supported me over the last 3 years of insanity. Every person who has forwarded emails to me as well as screenshots of the bullshit written on their Facebook walls about me (my personal favourite one being that I hacked a bank account and have been stealing money! Oh, and let's not forget the fake profile who said I paid him for sex... haahahahaha) On just one business forum my Stalkertrolls had 39 pseudonyms between just 2 of them and I have been quite bemused by the lengths some people will go to to try and destroy someone's reputation just because you committed the heinous crime of booting them out of your life. I have in my possession 189 screenshots proving the stalking and trolling that has been going on as well as traces on IP addresses (it was interesting to see one hit off a family member of mine's old home address and even more interesting to me that I wasn't upset or surprised by it) and I am still deciding whether to pursue this or not. I also have a message to the people who CHOSE to blindly believe the bullshit without having the decency to ask me what's going on: There's no need to lose my number because I changed it but please don't bother trying to insert yourselves into my life again, it will be an absolutely futile and pointless exercise. I'm not Jesus and I don't have Alzheimer's so forgiving and forgetting is not an option. Whether you are part of my extended family or someone I called a friend, it won't make a difference. All of this has been a blessing in disguise because to me life is too short to surround yourself with people who pretend to have your back while in actuality they are waiting for you to fall. I'm human and fallible so I may have stumbled because of the unexpected vicious and relentless attacks, but I didn't fall and all those fake fucks can kiss my ever expanding ass. Pucker up bitches!

On to my news: I started writing for an online lesbian magazine as their token straight chick a couple of years ago and I was most honoured when I was approached 3 months ago to take over as Editor for the time being. I have laughed until I cried, cried until I laughed, torn out handfuls of hair, lost hours of sleep, met amazing people, learned a lot - especially when it comes to technology (no mean feat for this technophobe) and made new additions to my chosen family.
I am super proud of my amazing crew and the hard work they are all putting in. This is where you can find me from now on:
The Modern L

I have also been helping Hubs with his business (yes, we are working together for the first time and no blood has been spilled!) It's been an amazing journey and worth every single sacrifice we have made, a thousand times over!
Vulcan Silver

Thank you to all the people who have supported this blog over the years, it's been fun but as they say in the classics 'All good things come to an end'.

GeeGee Curtained/Charmaine Oosterlaak *Over and Out* xx

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

SatyrNation ~ DJ LeatherSatyr

I'm loving DJ LeatherSatyr's new set, it got my tired ass moving this morning for sure, especially since DISASTER happened, there were no bloody coffee beans this morning!
For your free download click here: SatyrNation
To follow him on Facebook head on over to DJ LeatherSatyr


1. Tanzania (Main Mix) – Africanism by Dr Kucho
2. Mary Go Wild (Nicky Romero Remix) – Grooveyard
3. Home (Hustlerz Club Mix) – Susanne Palmer
4. Move In My Direction (Redanka Facination Remix) _ Bananarama
5. Waterman (Original 12 inch Mix) – Olav Basoski
6. Do I look Like a Slut (Stephen Durkin Remix) – Avenue D Girls
7. First Time (Mosche Fain Mix) – Offer Nissim feat. Maya
8. SOS (Chris Cox Club Mix) – Rihanna
9. Dreams (Extended Mix) – Kings of Tomorrow
10. Wall of Sound (Original Club Mix) - Phunk Investigation
11. The Summer – ATB
12. Sosei 2011 (Mikro with Faith Vocal Remix) – Airspace
13. Rolling In The Deep (Avicii Meats Philgood Saturday Mix) – Adele
14. Rapture (Avicii New Generation Extended Mix) – Nadia Ali
15. Accept Me (Junior Vasquez 27th Hour Mix

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sam Jensen ~ Here is the new there

I first met Sam when I did an interview with him Introducing DJ Sam Jensen in December last year just after he released his debut CD called 'Daydreams Last Forever'.  I was very impressed with both his music as well as with him as a person and I could feel it in my bones that this young man is going places.  Last week he contacted me to tell me his second CD is already done and he's sending me a copy.  I cannot wait!  Sam has made some of his songs downloadable for free on Soundcloud and Track no. 10 Lakeside Zoneout is one of them.  Feel free to click on the link to give it a listen and download: Lakeside Zoneout I really can't express enough how impressed I am that Sam composes and produces his own music...  To follow Sam on Facebook and if you would like to order a copy of his CD find him here: DJ SAM  If you didn't read the interview, do yourself a favour and go check it out...
GeeGee xx

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Anthems... The BEAR Way ~ DJ LeatherSatyr

Here it is!!!  DJ LeatherSatyr's latest set - Anthems... The BEAR Way....
Click here for your FREE download: Anthems the BEAR way...
Follow DJ LeatherSatyr on FACEBOOK
The Leatherlishus one told me the set was inspired by BEAR.  The anthems were chosen by both of them, life is FUN and we should always embrace it and live it to the fullest...  Who's way?  BEAR'S WAY!!!

The setlist is:

1.       Rock da house (Offer Nissim 2005 Intro Mix) – DJ Wope
2.       Rhythm is a Dance (Deejay Danny Rodriguez Remix) – Snap
3.       The Bomb (Club 69 Bootleg Hard Mix) – Bucketheads
4.       Some Nights (Tech1 Remix) – Fun.
5.       Played Alive (Diego Golo Bootleg Remix) – Safri Duo
6.       Supermodel (Thunderpuss Remix) – Rupaul
7.       Music Sounds Better With You (John Fabbretti Remix) – Stardust
8.       Elements (Alisson Siqueira Remix) – Danny Tenaglia
9.       Born to be Alive (Original Extended Mix) – Disco Kings
10.   Relax, Wild Boys! (DJ Bertus The Rough Knight Rises mashup) – Frankie Vs Duran
11.   Abow vs. Sex On Fire (Avicii’s Bootleg) – Avicii vs. Kings Of Leon
12.   Rolling In Deep (Flobers Brothers Remix) – Adele
13.   Back To Basics (Steve Lawler’s Return To Rehab Remix) – Shapeshifters
14.   Music Sounds Better With You (John Fabbretti Remix) – Startudst
15.   Its RAINING BEARS (Weather girls parody) – KGBears
16.   Ghostbusters (Electrized Me 2012 Remix) – Ray Parker Jr.
17.   Right here, Right now (StarSoul Extended Remix) – Fatboy Slim
18.   God Is a DJ 2013 (Dj Alex Remix) – Faithless
19.   Silence (Dj SPOON Remix) – Sarah McLaghlan
20.   Born This Way (Zedd Remix) – Lady GaGa
21.   Put Your Hands Up Falling For Detroit (Knight The Great Remix) – Fedde Le Grand & Spit
22.   Rhythm Of The Night (2005 Remix) – Interphace
23.   Rocker (Eric Prydz Mix) – Alter Ego
24.   You Are All Of That (DJ Marco Ferrari Ext. Rmx) – Danzel
25.   Scream & Shout (Cosmic Dawn Remix Edit) – Wil.I.Am & Britney
26.   Rapture (John C & Stephane K Remix) – iiO
27.   Without You (Nicky Romero Remix) – David Guetta
28.   Firework (Fred Falke Club Remix) – Katy Perry
29.   Fire Wire (Hard Remix) – Cosmic Gate
30.   Hellraiser (VNV Nation Remix) – Suicide Commando
31.   Kenkraft 400 (Darkbeat Remix) – Zombie Nation
32.   Operation Blade It Up (Coddie & Sterbins Remix) - Public Domain, Starkillers & Dimitry KO

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Some Satyrs ~ DJ LeatherSatyr

It's that time again - time for a FREE download of  DJ LeatherSatyr's latest setlist.  He said the inspiration for this set came from his friends and chosen family, having fun, mixing music that he enjoys and likes singin along to and alcohol!  Recent music mixed with classics makes for uplifiting sounds with a bit of a twist... I hope you enjoy DJ LeatherSatyr's sound as much as I do :-)
GeeGee xox

For your free download head on over to: DJ LeatherSatyr ~ Some Satyrs
Follow DJ LeatherSatyr on Facebook here:  DJ LeatherSatyr


1. I'll Fly With Jay Ho (Space Intro House Project) - Gigi D' Agostino & A.R. Rahman
2. Leaving (Dead Love Remix) - Pet Shop Boys
3. Feeling Good Levels (Eran Combass Mashup) - Flo-Rida Vs Avicii
4. Eyes (R3hab Remix) - Kaskade feat. Miny Gledhill 
5. Another Chance 2011 (Leonard Remix) - Roger Sanchez
6. Respect (Gregor Salto Remix) - Melanie Amaro
7. Teeth (Dark Intensity Remix) - Lady GaGa
8. Wide Awake (Jump Smokers Extended Mix) - Katy Perry
9. We Come 1 (Dave Clark Remix) - Faithless
10. Dont You Worry Child (PromseLand Remix) - Swedish House Mafiea Feat John Martin
11. Scream (Seamus Haji Remix) - Usher
12. All the Lovers (Wawa After Dark Remix) - Kylie Minoge
13. Wild One Two (Original Mix DRM) - Jackback, David Guetta & Nicky Romero
14. Plug It In (Val Helden Mix) - Basement Jaxx
15. Daft Punk Vs. Rolvario Vs. SHM
16. Speed - Can You Feel it (Oliver Klein Deep Vocal Mix) - Azzido Da bass feat. Roland Clark
17. Beautiful (Peter Rauhofer Mix) - Christina Aguilera
18. Silence Neils Van Gogh (Thomas Gold Remix) - Delerium Feat. Sarah Mclahlan
19. All It Takes (Mikael Weermets & Baurer Mix) Avicii vs Lenny Kravitz
20. Some Nights (Fun. Remix) - J. Rand

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Riding the Anaconda ~ Anonymous

We've seen so many brilliant posts that blend english and afrikaans in that unique way only South Africans can truly understand, we've decided to dedicate a tab because LOCAL IS LEKKER! 

Kicking off with an anonymous post that is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I don't know who the author is but I was crying with laughter.  As the person who always volunteers 'out of the goodness of my heart' to look after everyone's valuables when they go on these gawd awful rides I can totally relate!  I Went on the 'Runaway Train' he mentions here once and I hit a major panic attack 30 seconds in! Thought it would be okay seeing as it was for kids but I ended up making a complete tit of myself.
Hope you enjoy...
GeeGee x
P.S. If anyone knows who wrote this, point them in my direction will ya? 

Riding the ANACONDA

I am a father.  So, sometimes I need to do stuff that fathers do.  In the old days, it was marbles and tolle and ketties.  Things have changed.

So, two weeks ago, the fucking bright sparks over the road here, whispered the words "GOLD REEF CITY" into my laaities ears, and what can you do?  You go to GRC.

Ok, so i checked the website... nananana, looks like piss, hier en daar n fokken ride or two, and I wanted to go down the mine.  So ek trek my plakkies aan, kam my hare, and off we go.

We got there early.  Ek kap manhaftig twee worsbroodjies weg, en n halfliter melk, and followed my son to the first ride... called Runaway Train.

We get on, and I thought these things were for kids and stuff, and off it went.  I did not like it.  It was going sideways and shit, and I was queasy when I got off.

What bothered me though was the sound coming from behind me somewhere. Dit klink soos n fokken boeing wat land.  And then I saw it.  Big signwriting... ANAFOKKENCONDA.

I had to keep face, I wear the pants in this family.  Ek maak my arms bak, en ek loop fier en regop teen die dekplank op.  Ek gaan die donner ry, what can go wrong?

There was a queue and the fuck up with that is, you can see what the thing does to people.

When it came in the second time, and a young student dude, met spiere waar ek voue het, got out, and kots oor die reling, toe weet ek, my kak is uitgeknip vir my.

Then it was our turn.  Jono chickened out, BUT my wife was checking me out. This is where you have to be nonchalant, and manly.  I kept my chin up, en my hol toegeknyp.

You get into this thing, and you hang.  The safety bar didn't want to go over my hoenderborsie, so I pulled a Ville Valo, and made myself thin, and hooked a clip too close.... I think.

KLANG KLANG KLANG KLANG.... en kom ons fok nie rond nie.... skielik is ek so bang dat ek n bliksemse nieraanval kry..... dan draai die kak ding en FOK HY NA BENEDE....MET DIE SPOED VAN N HEILIGE FOKKEN WIT ELAND.

I shit you not, forget any car, bike, plane or whatever the fuck you measure your manliness by.... it accelerated like nothing I have ever felt.  But if this wasn't enough, gaan donner die ding onderstebo met jou.  I feel the worsrolletjie.  No wait, I feel the texture of the worsrolletjie, every fucking fibre of the worsrolletjie.

Kerels, we came out that first loop met die spoed van fokken wit lig. I wanted it to stop.  I havent prayed in 22 years.... I did then. We leveled out, and then it hit the second loop. Shorter radius than the first. Ons fok daardeur, en ek verloor my plakkie. Onderstebo, and then around 2 flat corners wa ek 10 jaar ouer word, and then....  the fucking thing corkscrewed. Klits daai fokken broodjie en die melk laat dit lyk soos daai kak wat jy oor bobotie gooi, and another, en fok dit, toe skree ek soos n Namibiese vlakte vlermuis wat se sonar gekak het.

And into the station at 200km/h, and just for shits and giggles, they stop it in 10m flat.

I just sat there.  Stunned, and my wife is oooh and aaaahing, en moet haar jags hou.

It fucked my whole day up.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Best advice for avoiding flu I ever got....~ Anon


To avoid it...
Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.  Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.  Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can't, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can and get plenty of rest.


Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your arm with alcohol...
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.

I walk to the pub. (exercise)
I put lime in my vodka...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the patio..(fresh air)
Tell rude jokes and laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then I pass out. (rest)

The way I see it...

If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you! As my mama always said, 'A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!'

I have no idea where I got this but it's great advice if you ask me!! ~ GeeGee Curtained

Live Well -
Laugh Often -
Love Much

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My Cat from Hell...

As a lot of you know, I absolutely LOVE Pierre Le Roux from Warfare: The Delightful and Dreary Sides of Gay Life's blog...  This particular post made me cry with laughter and Pierre was kind enough to let me publish it too... Enjoy!! 

Let me tell you a secret.  Some days I am terrified of my cats.  They are vengeful little fucks who always find new innovative ways to take years off my overall life expectancy.  Don’t be fooled by their furry cute exterior, inside they hold grudges and evil little plans for payback.  And with payback I mean creating situations that could be lethal for you.  But the vengeful little fucks are bright bastards too.  You see they know what plausible deniability means and the potential deadly scenarios they orchestrate could never directly be traced back to them.  So if your neighbors find you dead on the floor it will always look like an accident.  This past weekend Killer Pussy and her clowder coordinated just such a plot and it caused 14 hours of unadulterated terror.
Sunday night started out like any other.  The weekend was winding down and hubby and I were relaxing on the couch watching movies.  The fortress was locked and armed and we felt pretty safe and secure.  The bunnies were merely hopping around doing their best to be cute as hell and all felt fine and right in the world.  At around 9pm I realized that none of the five cats were around and there was some commotion going on at our front door.  On closer inspection I saw what the upheaval was about and that was when our nice and relaxing Sunday evening took a turn for the worst.

All five cats were sitting outside the glass front door playing, or so it seemed, with something.  And that something was a fucking snake.  In this world there are two living things that I have no problem having killed, and those two things are snakes and spiders.  I am terrified of both!  Living in the suburbs a snake in my yard was the absolute last thing I ever expected to find, and definitely not a Rinkhals Spitting Cobra.  But that was exactly what Killer Pussy and her minions found and now were throwing around in front of my front door.  The fact that they were playing with a snake was mortifying but at least there was a barrier between me and the snake and that caused me some comfort.  But that comfort would soon be vaporized!
My cats know my worst fears and unfortunately for me they like to scare the living shit out of me.  So naturally they brought the snake inside the house.  This involved some screaming.  The cobra was lying on the floor in our living room and we were standing on the couch screaming our lungs out “Take that fucking thing outside.  For fuck sake KILL IT!  KILL IT NOW!”  I swear that I could hear Killer Pussy laughing over our screaming.  After a few minutes that felt like an eternity I might add the snake finally appeared to be dead.  I mustered up all the courage I had to go and pick the ungodly creature up which by now was limp and seemed to have died.  I took a plastic bag, put Satan’s serpent in it and then tied it closed and placed the abomination into the kitchen dustbin.  I then went to the bathroom to compose myself seeing as I looked and sounded like an insane asylum escapee.

We finished watching the movie and then went to bed.  The next morning hubby asked me where I had thrown away the snake.  I told him in the kitchen dustbin.  He looked at me like I just raped the Virgin Mary.  The snake was dead and I failed to understand why he seemed mad at me.  Then it happened and I understood.  Hubby came running screaming out of the kitchen “Oh. Dear. God.  IT”S NOT DEAD!”  He screamed.  I screamed.  Everybody screamed!  For a brief moment I considered leaving the house with only my PJ’s on my back and never returning.  Then I realized how crazy that would be and then my life flashed in front of my eyes.  In that moment I also realized that my life is pretty boring and made a mental note to be a more interesting person from 2013 onward.  Then the adrenalin kicked in and I rushed into flight or fight mode.
The rational side of my brain started working at light speed.  I ran outside grabbed the BBQ thongs yelled at hubby to get a spade and then I had a standoff with a fucking spitting cobra.  There was no time to grab my diving mask to protect my eye and decided that should that motherfucker spit at me I will make it suffer.  Then there was a very delicate and intricate dance between me and the cobra.  After several failed attempts to grab it with the tongs I finally got it.  It was the most disgusting experience of my life!  As the fucker was squirming and curling around the tongs it felt like my skin was literally crawling and I had to concentrate very hard not to throw the thong as far away from me as I could.  I managed to take it outside and I fucking Quentin Tarantino’d its ass with a spade.  This time I made damn sure it was indeed dead!

I hacked the snake into four pieces in a primal and very violent cathartic manner.  The cats watched me kill it and Killer Pussy gave me that look that says “Don’t fuck with me again.”  Till today I am not sure what I did to piss her off.  More concerning, however, is the fact that I have no idea where she got the snake.  And you know what they say, if there is one there probably are more.  This has caused me to be very cautious when walking in my garden.  Also seeing that we are not going away for the holiday and staying home, I view Killer Pussy’s action as cruel and unusually harsh punishment.  Cats really are evil!

(You can Like Killer Pussy's Facebook Fan Page by clicking HERE).

Till next time.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Introducing DJ Sam Jensen... ~ GeeGee Curtained

When I first got an inbox from Sam on my Facebook profile asking me if I would mind 'mentioning' his new CD if he sent me a signed copy I thought to myself, 'oh, what the hell, why not?' so I immediately said yes.  What I didn't know at the time was that it was 'house' music and when the CD arrived I nearly had a mini-meltdown.  I mean really?  What the fuck does my old ass know about 'house' music??  Talk to me about the 80's and I'll have plenty to say but house/trance music?  Not so much.  When I opened the CD there was a hand-written message from Sam inside that said: 'Hi GeeGee!  I really hope you enjoy my Dance CD! Pump it up!' with a smiley face and kisses.  He had me at the kisses and the brushcut hairdo on the smiley face...  As luck would have it, the same day the CD arrived we had some friends over in the 'Rabbit Hole' and along with his CD Sam also sent me one of those plug in thingies (what can I say, I can never remember what they're called) that had the whole album loaded onto it so all I had to do was plug it into the iPod speaker and off we went.  Very cool by the way, the colours match his CD sleeve, which is right up my OCD alley...  Anyway, one of the peeps that was here that night is a very well-known guitarist who plays in a South African band and he loved it!  I can't in all good conscience tell you exactly what he said because amongst other things we imbibed that night, we also made short work of a bottle of Poncho's tequila.  We all know what tequila does, so my memory is very vague and so is his.  What I do remember is that we took a 'poll' between everyone that was here and the average mark came to a 9/10.  I listened to it again after my 4 day long hangover wore off and I was very pleasantly surprised.  His CD has 3 parts to it: Dance Set, Trance-House Set and Psytrance Set. The way he's laid it out really takes you through a whole night of partying...  From the shaking your booty part, right through to feeling like you're chilling out with a few cocktails watching the sun rise somewhere fabulous.  Consider me converted!  And more educated on house music too...  I only 'met' Sam when he sent me that inbox message but we've chatted quite a bit since that initial email and I can honestly say he is one of the sweetest, most humble people I have ever met.  And so polite!  His mama sure raised him well.  Anyway, after listening to his sound and realising what an amazing talent he has I decided he deserves much more than a mere mention.  So, here it is.  Introducing Sam Jensen!  And remember, you saw it here first! ;) 

What inspired you to compose and record ‘Day Dreams Last Forever’?
Yay an interview! Well I’ve enjoyed making music since I was a small boy playing with broken tape recorders, to now with my little studio setup with computers, synthesizers and recording instruments and equipment. For my last album, Daydreams Last Forever, I listened to some of the music around me that inspired me, like some of the successful Dance and Trance DJ’s like David Guetta, Avicii or DJ Tiesto, and made some music of my own. I’ve always been a dreamer, so I thought the album name Daydreams Last Forever was appropriate for that Trancey Dancey ‘let-the-music-take-me-away’ sound I was going for. Each song I listened to many times over and went back to my studio to keep changing it until I felt 100% happy with every moment. So I hope people listening feel the love I put into each note.
Where does your passion for music come from?
I don’t really know. I guess it’s partially genetic.  Lots of music genes in my family. Or maybe it started when I was 5, when my dad would sit me in front of the record player and play classical pieces and we would imagine stories to each piece of music we were hearing. And as the music got more intense, so would our imagination! Also in High School when I remixed the sacred school song into a disco version for fun, and sang it in assembly on the last day of school, seeing the whole school stand up and applaud and cheer,  made me think I want more of that in my life!
When did you start dj’ing and how old are you now?
I’m 28. They say I look 24. Although sometimes I feel 42 when work gets hectic. I only started DJ’ing recently. I always thought DJ’ing was ‘too easy’ because you just play other people’s music. But now I’m learning there’s a skill behind reading the crowd and playing the right songs at the right time.
Where do you see your love of music taking you?
I’m hoping for a hit on the radio one of these days, and hopefully someday I’ll tour around if people like my music. And if they don’t, I’ll just work harder.
What equipment do you use and do you have a studio at home?
I have a home studio, where most of the work is done on my computer. I use Reason 4 to make the drums, bass, synths and other music sounds. Then I have keyboards and guitars which I use to add layers of extra music, and I use Protools 9 to record the singers and do the final mastering.
Do you have any advice to give aspiring composers/dj’s like yourself?
Yes. “Just start!” So many composers are “waiting for inspiration” or waiting to buy some piece of equipment or software first before they start. They love to call themselves “Producers” at the pubs and have blingy profile pics on Facebook, but they’ve never finished one song! The truth is: your first song will sound crap. But your 99th song will sound brilliant, no matter what gear you’re using. So you just need to get cracking . . . today!
Do you have a day job or do you dj full time and where can your fans hear you play?
I’m a qualified electrician by day. I work for myself. That pays my rent, and has been paying for the music production up to now. That’s right. My last CD cost me thousands of rands for singers and CD printing etc, and I had to do it in the evenings after long days of electrical work. So people who say they want to also make music “but they have JOBS” don’t really have an excuse. I’m DJ’ing next on New Year’s Eve at the Worcester Yacht Club. Going to be a blast!
Are you available to play private gigs?
I’m always contactable on my email,, and my DJ’s gigs and range in price depending on how much equipment and lights I must rig up, or if it’s already provided.
Where can we buy your new cd?
It can be ordered through me directly via my email, or on my Facebook, and I’ll post a copy.
Some of your new fans want to know if you’re single?
Haha. Yes, I’m single. I’ve been in a few relationships, but people struggle to relate to me because I’m such a dreamer. And I don’t want people holding me back. So single for now it is.
What are the top 5 songs you listen to on your iPod right now?
1)      Psy - Gangnam Style
2)      Avicii – Levels (ooh ooh sometimes I get a good feeling . . .yeah!)
3)      Mark Knight – Downpipe
4)      One Direction – What makes you Beautiful
5)      Taio Cruz – Dynamite
What’s your favourite cocktail?
The Sam Jensen Cocktail, at this point in time, is Brandy and Coke with lots of ice and a dash of Monster Energy Drink in it. Not sure if you can call that a cocktail, but it sure works for me!
Thanks for your time to interview me, GeeGee. Was great fun!

Sam also sent me 2 links for your listening pleasure with the message 'That'll get 'em bouncing...' Hehehe... Gotta love him, right? 
For a Dance song click here: Living in the now
For a Trance song click here: Dew Drops
Follow Sam on Facebook: Sam Jensen
Contact Sam at

No review would be complete without some feedback so I asked a few people for their opinion on his music and this is what they said:

'We love to party and we love dance music, we also have a soft spot for local DJ's and hot new talent and what Sam Jensen has to offer definitely didn't disappoint!  He's got talent, and buckets of it! We look forward to seeing what's next from Sam!' - The Modern L

'I had the opportunity to listen to Sam Jensen's "Living in the now" and it reminded me of a very special New Year's Eve I had on the island of Madagascar. It's rare that music that you have never heard before can take you on a journey and allow you to reminisce and recall such incomparable memories. I will definitely buy this CD and thank you Sam for taking me back' - Warfare: The Delightful and Dreary sides of Gay Life

 'It's not hard to listen to at all... Very summery, on the beach. I could also imagine it as part of a movie/TV soundtrack.' - Author Devon Marshall

 'His sound is unique, certainly a fresh sound coming out of South Africa. Not copying music from what I have heard locally or internationally...' - Dj LeatherSatyr

'Very cool, I'd be interested in hearing some more of his stuff, I personally like it a bit harder and darker.  I am also looking for someone to write some new dance music for me and Sam will be hearing from me' - Terry Tiger Victor

 'Sam Jensen is so one of the best upcoming young dj's I have heard in a long time... I talked GeeGee into loaning me that CD for the 'weekend' and it's stuck in my car radio.  Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!  I just wonder who's going to pay all the speeding fines I'm sure are coming my way - Sam's music has a way of  giving me a lead foot!' - Shannon Stacey

 'A very fresh and clear cut sound. Its high tempo that is easy to listen to and at the same time, great music that gets your heart pumping and your feet moving.' - Rowan Pounce Poole

Monday, December 10, 2012


“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” ~ Dean Martin

It’s the season to be jolly fra la la la laaa la da di da…  Aw, the festive season is upon us, the year is coming to an end, many proud of what they have accomplished in the year, looking forward to another great year to be productive, spending the festive season just as you please.  We are all looking forward to that long anticipated visit with relatives, going to the coast, fixing up the house, having many ultra funtastic moments and later seeing them framed, hanging on the wall, smiles captured for ever and ever and ever…

This morning I woke up with the most dreadful hangover up to date.  Awakening dazed and confused as fuck as to where the hell I am, who I am, what I am… Imagine the horror.  I felt like a character in one of Seuss’s LSD fuelled hell cartoons, or maybe that blonde girl who fell down the rabbit hole.

I feel that my hangover is in German, nothing against the Germans, but it’s in German.  As the infamous quote goes – “"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing."  My brain is a little nazi bitch screaming at me and I don’t know why.  They say prevention is better than cure, well fuck you too.

Thank you Health 24 for providing us with this staggering revelation:


Best would be not to drink at all (screw you) - but it's summer and we're only human.  Limit the effects of alcohol on the brain by doing the following:

·         Eat fruit, a sandwich or a piece of game biltong before or while you're drinking. Choose snacks that aren't too greasy - if you pick up too much weight during the holidays you might just be tempted to drown your sorrows . . .

·         Drink slowly when you're tired or after exercise as the effects of alcohol are more severe when you're fatigued.

·         Try not to have more than one drink an hour. This will ensure your blood alcohol content stays within the legal limit of 0,05 g/100 ml.

·         Women should drink slower than men - their bodies are less muscular and therefore take longer to break down alcohol.

First of all I would like to point out that eating a piece of fruit, game biltong, a bloody sandwich or snacks that aren’t too greasy, is not going to keep anyone from getting piss drunk.  People put on weight because of drinking, so let’s drink to that.  I will not drink slowly when I’m tired, I’m fucking tired, I want to get it over with already and so be it if a cold beer has the same effect as a double shot of whiskey, it will help my tired ass fall asleep sooner!  I am greatly appalled by your lack of brains to tell me, to tell the rest of the world to try and have a single drink per hour.  I will not take this asshatery and twitfuckery.  I refuse.  Gone are the days that women use to cook and clean like their mothers, they now drink and smoke like their fathers.  And who the hell ‘breaks down alcohol’, you’ll get shot at if you break anything that contains alcohol in our house. 

Now, this lovely website gives you a step by step phase guide of what to expect when you’re expecting a drunken front with a few scattered Jagger bombs:   

Drinking less than half a glass of alcohol an hour is enough to suppress the functions of the frontal lobes which control your inhibitions, self-control, willpower, ability to judge and concentration.  – GREAT!

Believe it or not, at this stage your judgement is diminished and your personality has been sufficiently altered to increase your risk of dying an unnatural death - as a result of an accident or fight, for example. – Luckily I won’t feel a thing; I’ll be too busy moving my ass like Mite Tyson on jagger.
Next in line to experience the alcohol wave are the parietal lobes at the sides and on the top of your head.  Complicated movements such as buttoning your shirt or fastening a necklace are likely to become more challenging and you may experience a slight tremble. – Funny, when I’m drinking I want to unbutton my shirt…

Your vision is deteriorating - it's becoming increasingly difficult to judge movement and distance and your peripheral vision decreases. If you're driving at dusk you'll have trouble spotting a pedestrian or the little boy chasing his ball; unable to stop in time you could kill someone or crash into the back of a slow-moving lorry. – Little boys should not be chasing balls in front of my car, and I’m glad my vision is deteriorating; this bitch is ugly as hell!

The alcohol wave is crashing over your cerebellum.  By now your balance will be severely affected and you'll have trouble standing. Hopefully your friends have already seen to it that you're lying down safely so you can sleep off the backlash of the booze. – MEXICAN WAVE! Fuck you, I did not fall, I did the worm on this here floor!

If you're not in bed by now you'll be lying somewhere in a drunken stupor and your midbrain has become affected. You're paralytic, jittery and nauseous and your reflexes are severely impaired, by this time you may have lost consciousness. – I can’t really comment on this one, the last thing I remember was worming on the floor.

If you drink four doubles an hour your blood alcohol level will quickly exceed 0,35 to 0,4 g/100 ml.  With this amount of alcohol in your body your brain will be hit with a vengeance. It's now a matter of life and death: if the alcohol reaches the medulla oblongata (the part of the brain controlling breathing and blood circulation) you can die. – So the medulla oblongata is controlled by that little nazi bitch, now screaming at me for trying to choke and drown it…

My hangover, which I am surfing like a sunbathed dude in the Bahamas is really starting to bug me…

Dear Diary:
When I woke up from my disco nap, it just gave me a lot of misplaced energy.  However time progressed, still not feeling any pain, something was missing, I had the mental capacity of a gel pen.  The coffee that I was drinking only aggravated my rumbling gut, I was I in the mood for a proper full house wimpy breakfast.  A storm was building in my bowels.  By the time I got to work I could tell, today I’m not going to be productive.  The girl that walked passed me had me choking and gagging on her perfume reminding me of the gin shots I had.  I had the sun inside of my face.  By lunch time I had 3 gallons of water, two cokes, 3 cups of coffee and yet I have not peed once. I am a fucking mess.  I didn’t want to speak too quickly, I was afraid of puking freely.  At tea time I was cruising the inner circles of hell.  I bet I would have felt better by taking a hot shower or masturbating.  Whiskey was seeping out of every pore and I was dizzy. I curled up on the welcome mat in the reception area. That nazi bitch was starting to gas my brain… As I woke from my slumber on the reception area’s mat, I turned my head and the funk of 13 packs of cigarette smoke stuck in my hair moered me lights out.  I gagged yet again.  Luckily I threw up everything but my childhood memories, so I was safe, no colouring the reception’s walls…

Lying in bed that night, thinking about my drunken episodes I had this funny Morgan Freeman voice narrating the whole story… I felt good as I plummeted into a deep sleep.

Stay safe this festive season and have a drink on me!

Rock on out bitches,
Hedonistic Helga xxx       

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Mr SA Leather 2013

It’s that time of the year again, where a new title holder gets picked to represent the Leather community in South Africa.  On 8 December 2012, SA Leathermen will hold the 3rd National Mr. Leather competition in history. The competition is open to leather men of all ages & backgrounds. This year’s entries are from all over South Africa, age and body types. Anyone can vote for their favourite finalist and one lucky voter will win prizes to the value of R500.  There is also a raffle with tickets to the Lady Gaga concert in Cape Town up for grabs!
Allow me to introduce you to the judges...

This year the SA Leathermen are honoured to welcome a very special guest all the way from Philadelphia:

Jen Victor – Philadelphia, United States of America

Cowboi Jen is a proud Philadelphian who has been immersed in the public Leather and Kink communities since 2000. She earned her nickname Cowboi from competing on the gay rodeo circuit. She started competing in 1992 and has trophy buckles in 7 different events as well as multiple All Around Cowgirl titles. In 2009 she stepped forward from behind the scenes and became the first Mid-Atlantic Leatherwoman. During her title year she founded Philadelphia Leather Pride which has now raised tens of thousands for charities that support the leather community and has won the Pantheon of Leather Small Event of the Year. 
She has had the privilege of receiving many awards over the years on both local and national levels. In 2012, she was honoured with and humbled by receiving the Chuck Renslow President's Award from the Leather Archives and Museum. 
As a cancer survivor, diagnosed in 2001 with stage 4b Hodgkins Disease, she has learned to live each day to its fullest. 
Her life motto is "Don't just live... Live Well!!"  

David Hessey – Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape

60 year old Leather Bear, retired to SA from UK.
Work with HIV/AIDS in the Eastern Cape for ECGLA and WithOUT Prejudice.
Love men in leather and enjoy hairy men. Will be married to my partner of 11 years by the time the contest is on.
Reside in Port Elizabeth and love all aspects of South Africa, especially the men.
Am on Facebook and work with the DOH and ICAP here to further the goal of reducing HIV new cases to half by 2015.
Love all types of music.

Eddy van Eden – Johannesburg Gauteng

Born in 1955 in the Great Karoo, attended school in Cape Town and that is where I met the "Pack" in the early 1980's. We were a group of about 40 Leather guys that partied and had fun in and around Cape Town for years until the big "A" did a serious wipe out of some of my very dear friends. Others just got old and departed to the other side. By the mid nineties it was very much over. I believe being a Leather man is not only in the skin that you wear, but a very deep seated lifestyle.   I am very honoured to still be part of the Leather group in the RSA.

Gerrie Vorster – Cape Town, South Africa
Current title holder of Mr SA Leather 2011/12 - represented South Africa at the International Mr Leather competition in Chicago, USA in June 2011 and finished 7th out of 53 contestants worldwide.  Recently celebrated 1st wedding anniversary with the man he prposed to on stage the night he won the title, Ralph Kuhn, although they have been together for 11 years already.  Very proud father of a 20 yr old daughter who is currently studying for Chartered Accountant at Stellenbosch University and a 14 yr old son who is in high school.
Principles I cherish and live by include: 1.  Live your destiny. 2.  Success loves preparation. 3.  Welcome to the KARMA cafe, please have a seat, there are no menus' as you will be served what you deserve...
Jaco Lourens – Cape Town, South Africa
Jaco holds the title of Mr. SA Leather 2009/10.
He is proud to be a member of SA Leathermen, his journey started when he was crowned the first ever South African Leatherman in May 2009. Making history by attending International Mr. Leather in 2010, placed 4th out of 52 leathermen in the world. Then became chairman of SA Leathermen, and still is today.  In August 2011, Jaco won the Pantheon of Leather International Award 2011. These awards are given to leather men & women all over the world for their contribution & dedication. He's also served as a judge for leather & drag competitions.

Jaco is a proud gay married leatherman to his Husband Herman, who has been his rock and life.

In 2012 he was asked to serve on the judging panel for the Pantheon Awards.  Jaco is very passionate about charity work and getting involved into the community, currently working with Dibanani CT and helped co-found a new organization called “Golden Gays Foundation” where they assist and support senior gay men & women in our community.

Now for the contestants...  Who will be representing South Africa at Mr International Leather in May 2013?

Hobbies: Wearing leather, Bikes, Fishing outdoors, Being in touch with nature.
Charity Organisations: Dibanani CT, Triangle Project, Movember Cancer Drive, Gender DianamIX
More about James:
I feel that Sexual Expression is very important, it defines who we are as individuals.  I am sane, I am a Leather man, I am sexual and I am free.

Hobbies: Oil painting, Hiking, Writing poetry, Nude yoga, Baking.
Charity Organisations: CANSA - Ceres Branch, Dibanani CT, Pride Shelter, Soup Kitchen
More about Johann:
I strive to be humble in all greatness and do not seek self-fulfillment.  You, and you alone are the FIRST example of how the world is supposed to love you.  So if the world sees you as respectful of yourself... the world won't have a problem returning that same love and respect.

Hobbies: Horse riding, Baking/cooking, Fashion designing, Reading.
Charity Organisations: Lake Farm Centre
More about Josias:
The right to freedom of expression is integral to a democratic equal society.  Diverse life experiences.  I have had many good and bad experiences in my life, all of which have shaped the person I am today. 

Hobbies: Singing, Playing music, Travelling, Teaching, Feet worship, Ballbusting.
Charity Organisations: PASSOP Refugee Centre, Dibanani CT, SWEAT
More about Matthew:
As someone that thrives in the Educational field I feel that I can take the ideals of the Leathermen community and pass it onto the greater community.  For me, the Leather Community is more than a material that we wear, it is an ethos of acceptance and brotherhood that is hard to find anywhere else.

Hobbies: Painting, Fire dancing, Reading, Drumming, Outdoors.
Charity Organisations: South African Pagan Rights Alliance, Autism South Africa, Casa Caritas
More about Willow:
I am fashionable, bold adventurous, fun, compassionate, but also conservative, structured, disciplined, approachable, a natural leader and already a public figure.  Mr Gay Pride SA 97-99, Mr Gay Gauteng 99 and first runner-up in the Gay SA competition the same year.

For more information and to cast your vote please visit: or email us at 

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